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Marriage Works …. But You Have To Take Care Of Your Expectations Of One Another Marriage works no doubt. However it takes work, hard work to make it work. I believe those who have been in marriage for some time best resonate with this statement. This is a time that marks the beginning of a new phase in life. A time to share the rest of your life with the person whom you have chosen as your marriage partner, which is quite an adventurous journey. This is when you get to discover a lot of things about one another, some of which you may or may not have known about during courtship. While the journey into marriage offers so many thrills ahead, it also faces numerous ‘threats’ of bumpy ride experiences along the way. In most cases, it is the expectations that we get into marriage with – of one another that springs the ‘conflicts threat’ to life. If you were to interview several married couples and that would be honest enough, you would get to understand the magnitude of diversity in the expectations each one walked into the matrimonial home with. Some couples do get to discuss and agree on several aspects of marriage at the premarital counselling stage, however, given that not everyone gets to have premarital advice offered; several couples have no choice but to sort out the emergent issues while in the thick of handling unmet expectations. There are basic agreements that need to be discussed and agreed upon before marriage such as fidelity, moral standards, protection, child upbringing and financial support among others. These form a basis of expectations from each other for the agreements reached upon to be honoured. A spouse has ground to question when they are not met and ask that they be honoured. However whether any agreements were made or not, each spouse has a role to play and it’s not in order to require one person to meet all the needs. That would be too overwhelming to any partner. We need to continuously express our desires to God in prayer and look to Him to answer. It is important to let go most of the expectations a partner has of another given its no use getting into a relationship with unreasonable expectations, only to get upset and spark unendless conflicts when they are not met. As we recognize the place of God in meeting our expectations within marriage, the focus shifts from the man to God and the burden lightens. For some it may seem too trivial a matter of concern to God, but nothing could be further from the truth since God is concerned with every detail of our lives. We can always ask God to help us keep our focus on Him and not to forget that our expectations should only be pegged upon Him and not His sons and or daughters given in marriage – for only He is best able to respond to our needs. The Bible warns us in Jeremiah 17:5 that “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD”